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Each spring as a child
when family parties of
holiday celebrations
by then were just
mere echos in my head

I'd go a-caroling

while playing in the
fresh mud of our garden
toes wriggling deep
alongside the sow bugs
that tilled the soil

tomboy that I was
still in my Sunday best
my voice would rise up
to the birds perched
on the backyard fence

as I'd go a-caroling

taking in the dappled sun
strained through the branches
of a eucalyptus
that had a treehouse
where you could find me

a-caroling so free and easy
in that tree all breezy

in the crow's nest swaying
watching for pirates - avast!
I'd call out, saying
to the cap'n far below
Mom's calling us for lunch!

and off we'd go a-caroling
just as fast as we could

back in my childhood
where scraped knees were kissed
and summers were bliss,
and all was safe for a while
within my mother's smile.
:bulletred: 2/26/13: I just got notified that my poem was moved from its original category and put into Scraps. No idea why it was treated like this, but now it's in another category in hopes it will stay there. I've updated the piece and submitted it to some groups. Perhaps all of this happening will actually give new life to my words which were dedicated to World Cancer Day at the time. <3

In honor of World Cancer Day [link] this poem with the healthy childhood theme is my submission as a participant to show my support in so many ways.

Please join in. So many of you reading this have such wonderful abilities.

:heart:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkoppo:
Koppo Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2013
a lovely childhood it seemed. Good work.
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013
Ah thank you! I was a lover of climbing trees, running barefoot everywhere in the spring and summer, tying my hair up in ponytails, and crawling around in dirt and mud as I made forts and roads for my toy soldiers! :D
Reply
:iconcibbwin:
Cibbwin Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
God, babe, this is lovely! What comforting moments of innocence and imagination you brought me here. Thank you. <3
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013
Aw you're so very welcome, dear Robert! I've got other pieces in my gallery where I reminesce more of my childhood, and these are some of my most fond poems to write. <3
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love the mood in this. :heart:
Wonderful work, Jade!
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013
gosh thanks so much, Rachel. sorry for the lag, I was a pretty sick girl. :heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No worries, Jade.
I hope you're feeling better. :hug:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013
It's slow-going, but it's going all the same - thank you for your wishes. :hug:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well that's the right direction, at least. (:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013
yep yep :iconyesyesplz:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Haha...nice one.
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful. :heart:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013
Why thank you so much, Shara. :heart:
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are very welcome! :)
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
It has an enduring quality, capturing well the mind of a youth. Lovely.
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011
Thank you dear - it's pieces like this and the others you've seen of mine that bring a true joy to when I write. <3
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You're most welcome. :)
Reply
:iconlonely-heart-band:
lonely-heart-band Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2009
when you mentioned "eucalyptus" it took me back to my time in Australia, i used to run around those trees, my girlfriend even left me tied up to one.

thank you for bringing back these memories
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2009
Oh you're so very welcome! :hug:
Reply
:iconlonely-heart-band:
lonely-heart-band Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2009
I look forward to reading more
Reply
:iconmahi-fish:
Mahi-Fish Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2009
There is some amazing imagery here Jade.

The first thing that you do that I like is to take the "caroling" idea and put it in the "wrong" season. Of course, it isn't wrong at all. Winter is a very difficult season for so many people. The spike in suicides and sale of anti-depressants attests to that. Wouldn't it be so much more natural to sing songs of joy in the spring?

The next part that makes this piece a joy are the individual images themselves. I don't want to quote your poem back to you, but I'll pick a few of my favorites:

toes wriggling deep
alongside the sow bugs

that had a treehouse
where you could find me

in the crow's nest swaying
watching for pirates - avast!

You already know why they are great, but I'll expand because it gives me something to kill the time. The first really projects an image to the reader that it is your toes, and not the bugs that are really doing the work. It gives the narrator a connection with nature that no metaphor ever could. I almost believed for a second that maybe your toes were the little bugs digging in deep (in a happy, not grotesque way).

The second is such a simple image, but it really goes far to establish the character. You've called her a tomboy, but I had nothing except the aforementioned dirt to back that up. Treeforts generally have a masculine image associated with them. In this case, it almost tells a double story. The narrator perhaps was a tomboy, but she will one day grow into a stunning young lady. I see the treefort sanctuary as the soil for the first seeds of a budding romance, although neither can know it yet.

In the last piece I quoted, you've reinforced that interpretation. Swaying is such a great word, dripping with femininity. I realize that it's not the girl herself who is swaying, but the crow's nest (nest is another feminine charged word) serves as a surrogate to guide the girl into womanhood. All in an extremely innocent way. My early crushes were all on the tomboy girls who played with the boys. Perhaps now I know why.


The only minor suggestion I have is a word choice preference. In this line:

I'd be calling out, saying

I'd actually suggest cutting the word 'be', and lose the -ing. It's a minor change, but I personally found it distracting. There shouldn't be any change in meaning for the poem, but I feel that it would just be a stronger phrasing. Again, minor, and the only real suggestion I had.


:hug:

Oh, and faved obviously.
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2009
This was a particularly joyous piece for me to birth - I'm so glad you pick up on it. And your suggestion worked perfectly - I took the advice of course, thank you!

:hug:
Reply
:iconsomnomollior:
somnomollior Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2009   Writer
You describe what sounds like a lovely, fun and imaginative childhood world. It makes me think of the joys of being a child when too often I choose to remember the bad things.
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2009
ahh, then I'm glad I wrote it. even at the very worst of things, i usually try to think of all the very best of times :hug:
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2009  Professional Writer
In the bitterness of winter, sometimes memories are just enough to keep us warm.
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2009
:hug:
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2009  Professional Writer
:)
Reply
:iconlorananirren:
lorananirren Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I love the image of the child singing. I have a golden-tinted memory of picking up sticks at my grandmother's cabin on the Mississippi, singing one of my favorite songs I learned throughout my years in school choirs - "How Can I Keep from Singing" and dreaming that some handsome young man would wander by and hear me, just like in Sleeping Beauty ^_^

The memory is literally golden in my mind, because I remember the way the sun rays dappled through the big trees in the yard which held the hammock, and it made the air feel golden.

Thank you for bringing me to that smile :)
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2009
Oh Jessie-girl :hug: I'm so glad this poem brought such lovely memories back to you, thank you so much!
Reply
:iconskycladarts:
skycladarts Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I can't imagine you a tomboy....and I still like squelching my toes in the mud! :)
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2009
heh - me too, on both counts! :blushes:
Reply
:iconretrozombie:
RetroZombie Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2009
This is beautiful, Jade. It took me back to my own childhood, for just a few blissful moments.

:heart:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2009
Oh I'm so glad you saw it so quickly! I did so enjoy writing it, and I'm glad it took you back as well! :hug:
Reply
:iconretrozombie:
RetroZombie Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2009
I can see the enjoyment you had right there in the piece.
Thank you for this, Jade, it was wonderful to read on this blustery day! :hug:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2009
Oh yes, it was especially sweet to be immersed in those times while today has rain and cold - but I look forward to a bit of hot lunch (chicken ala king mmmm), and then I'll be off to do my usual Friday errands. I hope your day has been going well...

and thank you so much, John - for the fave as well! :hug:
Reply
:iconretrozombie:
RetroZombie Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2009
mmmm, that sounds delicious! That should help chase away the gloom of the day, too!
I made some great progress today, thank you for asking! It was hectic this morning, but a major breakthrough is allowing me to finally relax a bit.

Enjoy your lunch, and your errands!

(and it was entirely my pleasure, Jade! :hug:)
Reply
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