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i

near my sick bed
he murmurs of how he's crumbling
but I'm still here
I've fought so long, I'm here
for a while I trust
I believe this, I must
even when it's bad, because
his faith alone is not enough

my random thoughts of how long
I have, and his thoughts of
"will she be able to outlive me" -
even at moments like this
it happens that
we hold on and speak of a future


ii

rolling restless this early morn'
you exhausted and I
drying up from a virus

spying through the shredding
of 250-thread count bedding,
between the hillocks of your shoulders

we never can sleep
in anticipation for what's to come

to plant the seed and watch it grow
though we will never see it bloom
for all the other things we know

and live beyond that fertile past
of what we did and what we'll do
as sleep will still not come to us

close apart, we dare not fall
from the tree that burns in season
counting the rings of our poetry


iii

the moon has set,
I wake in the dark
to the rush of wind

I hear him rinsing off
in the basin,
we fall asleep before dawn
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-04-11
The imagery in Counting the Rings by `jade-pandora "draws the reader into the depths of human nature" (suggester's words). ( Suggested by Dr-Vergissmeinnicht and Featured by neurotype )
:iconseekerofsigns:
seekerofsigns Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm simply staggered by the incredibly spellbinding flow and visuals of this. Bwah. I don't even know what else to say, other than I'm really glad I watched you.
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015
Your gladness gives me reason to smile and nod in agreement, while also thrilled of how the poem has settled within you; not needing more words than it has given. :rose:
Reply
:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
This is haunting and beautiful
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2015
:iconbowplz: Aw thank you very much.
Reply
:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure!
Reply
:iconschriftsteller:
schriftsteller Featured By Owner May 17, 2013   Writer
This is utterly heartbreaking. I'm a bit at a loss for words but for as sad as this makes me feel, it's ten times as beautiful. I especially enjoyed your image with the tree rings which are a favorite thing of mine that I've always wished I could write about. You've done it perfectly here. The entire thing is lovely and you definitely deserved the DD. Even though you don't know me I want to say that I'm sorry you're going through this situation-- whatever health issue it may be. But your work speaks for itself and it sings.
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013
I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to reply to your touching comment, Delaney, but the very issues the poem is about is why lately I'm not online as much as I used to be, to keep up with things like this -- and your words deserve the attention that I wasn't able to give sooner.

It's not been often that I write so directly about my medical struggles that try to lay me low for good. The first time I "came out" about it was when I wrote "Needles of Grass". And even when my writing goes into the darker recesses of my maladies, I'm grateful that I'm a poet -- for it's in my words that others can indeed hear my songs.

Thank you so very much.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013   General Artist
and of course, congratulations on the DD! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013
well fiddle-dee-dee, thank you! :love:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2013   General Artist
you are so very welcome! :love:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013   General Artist
Goodness this is pretty stunning stuff, dearest Ms. Jade! :love:
You're incredible! :clap:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013
:blushes: Ohhh you!
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2013   General Artist
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconrockeagle:
rockeagle Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013
i loved how your feelings shaped the poem
your poem is talented and inspiring too
i like this kind of sense in the words
great job and keep the talent up ^^
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013
I very much appreciate you sharing with me your embracing my poem - thank you so much. ^.^
Reply
:icondoublethefun:
doublethefun Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013
really well written!
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013
Why thank you, Lindsey! <3
Reply
:iconthe-beastie:
the-beastie Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is such a raw, honest and wonderfully written piece - utterly deserving of a DD! Congratulations! Keep being as strong as you are. It's so nice to read all the comments on this and to see that you are surrounded on all corners by people who love you - and that love shines through in this poem. :heart:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013
Oh my, what wonderful words greet me here as happy tears well up. You've disarmed my ability to do justice to your loving and kind words! I do feel the love. Thank you so much, sweetheart. :heart:

p.s. and how lovely to see you!
Reply
:iconthe-beastie:
the-beastie Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013
:hug:
Reply
:iconpearlscat:
PearlsCat Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on the DD, this is absolutely fantastic!
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
Gosh thank you so much, Hannah - it's good to see you anytime! :heart:
Reply
:iconpearlscat:
PearlsCat Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem! It's nice to talk to someone so polite! :D
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013
:aww: gosh!
Reply
:iconsimplysilent:
SimplySilent Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
:heart: Congrats on the DD! :clap:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
:iconbowplz:
Why thank you so much!
Reply
:iconsimplysilent:
SimplySilent Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013
You're welcome~
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Student General Artist
Beautiful poem.
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
Thank you, Karinta.
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013  Student General Artist
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A saddening concept from what I could fathom, described melodically.
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
Thank you, Adam, for sharing that with me, and embracing the meanings.
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It was a pleasure to share :)
Reply
:iconbrain-tree:
brain-tree Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013   General Artist
One of the most beautiful concepts painted by words I think I've ever read.
It's hard to describe it with words of my own. I'm amazed.
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
Why thank you so much, Andrew. I'm equally amazed, and gratefully so, for the way you have been able to feel and embrace what my poem represents.
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz: :iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
Wow my gosh thank you very much, Eve, how sweet of you!
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You write so beautiful my dear!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconsweethugplz::iconflyingheartsplz:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013
:iconmoeblushplz: Oh my - thank you!
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconflyingheartsplz::blowkiss::iconflyingheartsplz:
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:w00t: CONGRATS!
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
:blushes: Many thanks to you, Raquel! It's something I thought I'd never see happen to me again - for lit. :faint:
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh tsk tsk, it'll happen again, if you stick around ;)
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013
oh you tease...
Reply
:iconrarmaster:
rarmaster Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
beautiful poetry! I loved this!
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
Ah thank you so very much, that means a lot!
Reply
:iconrarmaster:
rarmaster Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome!
Reply
:iconshannon-sweeney:
Shannon-Sweeney Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Congrats on the DD :D
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
Shannon! I've missed you...

and thank you for stopping by like this.
Reply
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March 12, 2013
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