Despite being a "death tanka", it seems more like a tragic love story

One suggestion,

but can he hear...
there is only wind.

if you instead said
"but can he hear?
There is only wind."
it would sound even harsher with the more concrete stop of a question mark (vs. an ellipses).

--
“Now me lay down to sleep.
Mow da zeebas down like sheep.
Give dem to me nice and dead.
Me no happy ‘til me fed.”
-Bedtime prayer of crocs, Pearls Before Swine
My Faith in Humanity:361

I always find it interesting how my perception of words can change the meaning of things. This could be about love rather than death. I'll have to study this Tanka style more closely. You are such a fine wordsmith.

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“Human folly does not impede the turning of the stars.”
Tom Robbins

This style of poetry is very intriguing. I particularly like the second tanka, with the line "the image is falling". It ties back into the beginning with the highwire.

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There's a good reason why this signature is here, I just haven't figured it out yet.
~
this is a link to a MAGICAL place:[link]

why thank you! - and yes, it is a return, like a cycle - as so much of life & death is about.

--
玉

Thank you so very much, dear host & friend...

actually, though this piece is in a kind of Death series, it's not always meant literally as the death of something or someone, but can also mean a brush with death, the consideration of death, the illusion of death - as well as the actual act of or the imminence of.

Is it a tragic love story? The meanings are for the reader to discern most times when i write poems with complexities built in from the way life can be.

As for your suggestion, i'm pleased that you confirmed my initial version which did have the question mark. Having a learned opinion to second what i first felt has me relieved and happy to make the edit because it is the better way.

Thank you!

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玉

Thank you, i do hope to hear more of your thoughts!

And it is very much about love. i explain more in reply to *Iscariot-Priest's comment (below) ...

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玉

Happy to help

--
“Now me lay down to sleep.
Mow da zeebas down like sheep.
Give dem to me nice and dead.
Me no happy ‘til me fed.”
-Bedtime prayer of crocs, Pearls Before Swine
My Faith in Humanity:361

what are your thoughts on all the rest i said?

--
玉

This set is beautiful Jade It continues to amaze me how well you have grasped the tanka style of poetry. What I find interesting is that, although this poem is entitled "Death Tanka" it alludes to the spiritual death (and rebirth) that comes when the single spirit is united with another. You illustrate the importance of this union well by braving fierce winds (maybe symbolic distractions, or insecurities of the heart) in order to be one with your lover. What I enjoyed most is that you display fearlessness; "even if I fall." This is interesting because it implies not only faith in your actions, but also the knowledge that even falling to death (the symbolic death) will lead you to this unity.

The second verse is also interesting. While the first displays an effort to avoid the fall, this verse seems to embrace, and even relish the idea. it seems that here is where she discovers that "death" will ironically lead to a permanent union with her lover. She even seems to know that he is there in her descent.

As for the wind...I originally thought that its meaning shifted in the poem, but I think that it is a constant factor the lovers have no control over.
As I mentioned earlier...I wonder if the "wind" represents the outside factors that the lovers cannot conquer...only endure together.

As I said earlier, your ability to infuse the frailties and strengths of human existence into tanka is amazing. Excellent work!!