It was inflicted, and endured
the most chilling way
in exchange for anonymity

Feeling apprehensive,
disorienting me,
arms already lost to me

Out of my depths, I had inhaled
the moment when
the wave washes over me,

At the mercy
in this pregnant darkness,
determined to resist
and unable to

Clawing at the arching sky
an abject prisoner of my gag reflex -
a vertical expression
of a horizontal desire

I wanted to go
to the heart of suffering
to navigate deep
within its undergrowth

The search for clarity takes courage

Gently sloping,
a bay of exquisite symmetry;
those perfect curves

Dancing among the whitecaps
I had the sensation I was
swimming through moonlight

I didn't just lose my modesty
I lost my heart

The low moon
rode across a cloud
casting a net with
a slow-motion gesture

So elegant
stretching like a goddess
the color of pale porcelain -
it was love at first sight

Where nothing seemed to exist
I was overcome
by feelings of arrival
when I surfaced -

More than an escape
it was a way of going home