I have a humble suggestion I think this set might end more powerfully if you ended with 9 instead...it talks of resting and rising again...that's always a good image to end with. My opinion, of course, yours to take into consideration At any rate, it's beautiful and very sensual. I love your words, as always dear Jade

--
The void breathed hard on my heart, turning its illusions to ice, shattering them. --Rorschach, Watchmen

ahhh...
I love orchids, I can smell them now

--
...and then the words seemed to fly off the page and weave themselves into a beautiful picture...

Behold. the powers of the mighty Beatnik

Very nice Jade, one thing that I have always admired about your work is the attention paid to the power of the five senses. these pieces display sex as instinct, a primal surge of human longing, rather than merely an act. This reminds me of the work of Haijin Sonia Sanchez. What makes your haiku interesting is that every image seems surreal and ethereal, rather than purely concrete.

1. In this piece, the image of the moon in conjunction to her "announcement" (which I assume to be an orgasm) conjures images of the ancient belief in the moon's power over femininity. In this way, the woman is given a subtle power of her own in this piece.

2. Great portrayal of the power of the human senses.

3. this one is deeply layered. In shaman folklore, the blackbird represents a connection to water (the wetness of the field). Their foraging in relation to the lovers also has two meanings. On one hand, the lovers tasting each other's wetness could be reminiscent of foraging black birds. On the other hand, the love affair could be shared between the birds and mother earth herself as they feed from her. Very nice

9. this is purely sensual...the image of a woman offering fellatio as the moon itself is sucked in by the night.

10. This is very classic...three lines...three images. nicely done Jade.

once again you amaze me with your use of words! so few yet so powerful and very sensual!

--
etienne ell

thank you!

--
玉

Laurence,

i apologize for the lag - i needed to center myself in order to do justice to your considerate response both here, and to your more recent comments to "Haiku in Winter". It's all more than i dared hope.

The following is more the genuine feeling i would normally reserve for your main page, so - i'd like to post it both here, at your main page, and at the other submission so that all may know that wherever my artistry in this kind of writing may go from this moment forward - is in a substantial way due to you, and i want others to know (be it novice hopefuls passing by, or seasoned haijin of long standing who know you and/or of you)...

The way you have come to know the feel of my 'style' - my 'voice' - is so perceptive & (i'm humble yet delighted to say) accurate. Since discovering me during the 'wrimo, you've given keen attention to what my work is about - what i'm about - and thus began an artistic bond.

i'm learning more about the principles of haiku and i hope this shows in these two latest submissions of 'sets' since i first came onto the scene with the verve of an earnest novice who had never actually known or been known in any literary community.

Your experience & willingness to take my naivete' in hand without wishing to repress what you recognize is my unique contribution is so very generous. To allow me to find my way while you stand a step behind, and a step to one side, watching -

Both teacher & student are learning at the same time. Such an exchange is a wonderful 'extra'. Meantime, i forward to reading Haijin Sanchez. Between the enlightenment i would receive from her works, and your encouragement, my gaze is trained ahead to where it can lead... to tanka.

Thank you, "YG".

--
玉

Jade,

First...I am absolutely speechless. To be thanked in such a way is more than any one person deserves. The fact is, ever since I met you during the wrimo, I saw the burgeoning skill that presented itself in each and every one of your pieces. You have no idea how proud I am that you have not only pursued haiku, but that you have found your voice so quickly. I have always admired the fact that you are willing to experiment, not only with form, but with spirituality, sensuality, and the "voice" of the natural world. In doing so, You have stepped forward on your own path...one that cannot be dictated or criticized by others.

Its funny, you say that you have learned from me, but in fact the door swings both ways. You have reiterated for me that form is only secondary to the passion that must reside in any art. Also, you have encouraged me when I questioned my own knowledge and abilities. I thank you for that

I never once saw you as naive...there is no such thing. Some people become so pompous that they forget when they first began the artistic journey. Don't ever lose that flexibility you have. With that, you will be able to learn for yourself. You are a true artist Jade...and of course i am waiting to see you spread your wings into Tanka...you are so very close. As I said before...you are quite the art priestess.

ah yes, but these orchids have a scent unlike others ...

--
玉

yes, I know, I liked the imagery of using orchids. they happen to be my favorite flower

--
...and then the words seemed to fly off the page and weave themselves into a beautiful picture...

Behold. the powers of the mighty Beatnik

I like
from behind
he holds her teacup body
in symmetry to his own
- very nice image there.
The final haiku has some nice words in it too.

--
No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

Give and receive art: Secret Santa 09
ALL abilities, ALL media welcome!