It works very well: you make it look easy but it sounds very complicated. I would like to join the workshop if I may.

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THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (This door is kept locked because of the draught - please use side door.)

Very nice SG! It is really interesting to see the concept of senryu applied outside of the traditional form. In doing that, you are illustrating that senryu, more than haiku or tanka is a style that is mainly conceptual. This in itself is an interesting discussion topic!

While the form of senryu most certainly follows the haiku structure, I am interested in seeing how the outlook (for lack of better term) can be applied to other Japanese forms. As you know, eroticism in the arts was well known and had a place within tanka (nicknamed mad poetry) and renga in general.

This piece in itself contains traces of senryu's dark humor (and eroticism), particularly in the first stanza...

I know
the pain you were in
I took you there

Very nice! This is a great way to expound on the application of senryu! I cannot wait for the workshop

This is such a powerful piece. I don't see the humor, dark or otherwise, as Laurence does--I guess I have a different perspective on it.

I sense the darkness, yes, but also a longing and an urgency. I also see a plaintive quality to it, and the beginnings of motion into despair, but turned at the end by a sliver of hope.

I could be completely off with this interpretation, but these are the images and feelings that come to me so powerfully from this poem.



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玉: 我的天使 ♥
Always look on the bright side... there's more light there and it's easier to find stuff.

i don't sense any eroticism reading this, except perhaps, like john donne, in the sense that religious zeal and passion can be comparable to erotic ecstasy.

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"All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling. To be natural is to be obvious, and to be obvious is to be inartistic." —Oscar Wilde

Not so much humor in the traditional sense, but an irony in that the speaker knows the pain because she took him there. Like you, it probably has to do with the way I study and apply concepts.

Jade, this is gorgeous. I can only reiterate everything that Laurence and John have said. I am also looking forward to the workshop!