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words by skycladarts

poetry by etienneell

Poetry by Argentum-Lupae-Luna


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Submitted on
August 22, 2010
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1,781
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Tell me the name is for a goddess,
capricious and deadly, who    
mocks the afflicted in their dreams.

I might endure more graciously
if only this were a dream. It is
she who tosses fireballs of light

pulsating, flashing bright
and going dim in the blackness
behind these herniated eyes,

to devour while I hear the sustained
pitch of a sonic scream through
the static frequency of night air--

the peel and cry of her harpies
smelling of singed hair and brains--
the fever and sound rips through veins

cauterizing shut the window for sleep,
leaving the frantic staccato
of a heart in flight, as I whisper
Goddess, why spare me the night.
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:iconsigma-echo-seven:
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012  Student Writer
Intriguing imagery sets up a captivating character in this Goddess, from the very outset of the poem. Well done!
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
Gosh I really appreciate your thoughts of this poem, so much - thank you, and for faving it as well! :heart:
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:iconvicariousoul:
VicariouSoul Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Professional Writer
Quite possibly one of my favorite works I've read from you thus far, and not because I can really relate (I don't suffer from Insomnia) but because of how wisely and so well you make enjambments. Your ideas cascade down the poem nicely as free-verse should. This is coming from someone who doesn't take a liking to free-verse quite possibly because a great many don't know how to do it right.

Very few on here do it well, and especially the poet Rumi found here [link] who is the master of masters of the free-verse. His work is still read today some 800 years later, still understandable today (translated in all languages).

:iconrhyme-and-reason:
Anyway, I decided to accept this in the Group and hope to see what you come up with next. I have also added this to my Favorites.



Siryan
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012
Thank you so very much, Siryan, for giving generously of your time to write such insightful thoughts to me.

I appreciate more than you know your observations in spite of how you normally feel about this style/form of poetry. I never received much in the way of schooling when it came to writing poetry, so your words are as gold to me.

By the way, I am familiar with Rumi, thanks to a book I have entitled "The Essential Rumi" (translations by Coleman Barks), and I quite agree. Thank you for the link as well, in case others seeing your comment become curious and want to use it too.
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:iconvicariousoul:
VicariouSoul Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Professional Writer
You're very welcome. And yeah, that's the thing about Rumi's work. The quality of it differs depending on who is/who did the translating. I find the site I referred you to be the best translating I've seen thus far, although I haven't read works by Rumi translated by Coleman Barks. I'll have to check his translations out.

You have a good taste I see in Literature. Impressive. Keep on learning from the masters.



Siryan
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012
In honor of our mutual respect & appreciation of Rumi's work, I opened the book I have as I mentioned, picked a stanza from a poem I chose at random called, "Locked Out Of Life":

How long will you beg from others,
when there are things born of you
that emperors want?


Having shared that, I just now noticed your signature, and it saddens me deeply. Good night.
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:iconvicariousoul:
VicariouSoul Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Professional Writer
Pardon the late reply. And sorry, yeah, I believe that some law/rules must apply for a poem to be a poem so as to not sound like full-fledged prose. By this I mean lines that are well over 10 words long each and look like a paragraph, not stanzas. That's the kind of free-verse I don't like because today's poets have taken the free in free-verse and blew it out of proportion. Old free-verse like Rumi's is an exception because while he followed no specific meter, rhyme, etc. it always has an elegance to it that defines it as poetry.

Nothing good can be said for most of today's free-verse.
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:iconsarahhartmanart:
SarahHartmanArt Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2011
Insomnia seems to be a theme lately...and She's come to visit me. Lovely write, Jade. :heart:
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2011
Thank you, Sarah. I'm glad you are inspired by the poem in spite of the goddess's visits. :heart:
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:iconsarahhartmanart:
SarahHartmanArt Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2011
You're very welcome, but thank you.
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