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November 28, 2012
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To breathe the curve and then the coil
The bulge of arms, the pull and torque
He levels arrow true in place
As muscles flex in rhythmic tune
The grace and sinew of his bow
When then at last he lets it fly
Towards rearing Horsehead nebulae
While I'm in awe and full entranced

He ne'er gives me a single glance
Yet do I mind in spite the moon
It is for me that he aims low
To stay the target his first try
With stars that set himself ablaze
And claims the prize with self-same mark
What legend brands his epic deed
And 'twixt the galaxies we'll spark.
:iconjade-pandora:
This is a piece that came about while I was thinking of the astrological sign, Sagittarius, the Archer. The constellation of Orion is known as the Hunter, usually with sword or club, and shield. This became the prompt for the poem, which takes place in the night's sky.

:bulletred: Preview piece of the Horsehead nebula courtesy of NASA public domain.

:bulletgreen: 5/1/13 Featured here: [link]

:bulletblue: 12/31/12 Featured here: [link]

:bulletblack: 11/28/12 Featured here: [link]
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:iconlittleshag:
Mood: Neutral ~Littleshag Feb 12, 2013  Student General Artist
The picture is actually the Horsehead nebula.
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:iconjade-pandora:
Yes dear I know - if you read the first stanza, it mentions the Horsehead nebula. :)
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:iconkabloona:
The first line doesn't work for me. It does not present a sensory image, or evoke anything in me, or otherwise draw my attention. But the rest of the poem works. A more vivid first line would more readily draw me into the rest of the poem. I like the subject, btw, the constellations.
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:iconjade-pandora:
The first line starts to set up for the 2nd, and 3rd line, and so on. I'm not trying for a powerful opening line in this case. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, thank you.
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
`FuzzyHoser Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, wow. This is lovely, Jade! :heart:
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:iconjade-pandora:
:aww: gosh Rachel, I appreciate that! :heart:

And Happy New Year!
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
`FuzzyHoser Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome, and the same to you!
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:iconbeyondjen:
*BeyondJen Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love how you took on the subject and personified it. Great read with pretty language. (:
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:iconjade-pandora:
Why thank you, Jen...

I write a lot of astronomical poetry, and without me being that conscious of doing so, tend to personify. It's something I don't really notice until a reader points it out - which I thank you for sharing your thouhts on that very tendency. <3
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:iconbeyondjen:
*BeyondJen Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure. :)
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