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"Remains"


bringing you to me
on a skiff,
the delta hums with insects
while the equinox rises
over your shoulder-

unable to hide
promises already broken,
we stand barefoot on
the muddy shoreline
to be married in a dream-

bones of driftwood,
moreso ancient, lie close
to my carnelian thighs
as we wait impatiently
for the charred remains of night

that seem distant from
the moment at hand -
of your gypsy with
eyes of obsidian
and mother-of-pearl

yet now is the hour;
tremors shift the lapis sand
between us - a short distance.
hardly any distance at all.
only closeness really-

the ellipse of our eyes
begging for the blinding
whitewash of camellias-
of crinoline and bone,
to ambush the honeymoon

till you distance yourself from
the aging stigmata of the past-
when all will go drowsy,
and our consummation will
lay your servitude to rest
©2009 `jade-pandora
:iconjade-pandora:

Author's Comments

one day
in a day
one day

Comments


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:iconaqua-rat:
I like the 'rock' words you use. In three of the stanzas you have the words: carnelian, obsidian, and lapis. I think it would be pleasing, albeit artificial, to have some sort of stone mentioned in every stanza.

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THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (This door is kept locked because of the draught - please use side door.)
:iconjade-pandora:
Yes those were planned, but I'm not sure I could work it throughout the entire piece. I hope you liked it all the same - even though this particular poem regards something complex with someone very close. :heart:

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:iconaqua-rat:
I guessed there was a 'story' behind this which I don't know all the details of which is why I didn't comment on that aspect of it.
That aside I felt the poem as a whole was very rich in atmosphere - exotic.

--
THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (This door is kept locked because of the draught - please use side door.)
:iconjade-pandora:
Why thank you! I think your observations and perceptions are always amazing even when something is quite oblique. :)

I knew it wasn't possible to explain the meanings when I posted the poem, but that's how it is with many of my works -- and what I always hope for is that other readers will get something of their own -- their own interpretations.

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:iconlosingmyfaith:
hmm, i like it. different. good job (:

--
" ...he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same, and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."
:iconjade-pandora:
I thank you kindly even though I know it's different yes - different as in difficult to figure out. The piece is regarding someone close, a complex situation, and I can only hope that you enjoy it for what you bring away from the reading. :)

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:iconaqua-rat:
Yes, it is almost most interesting to see people put their own interpretations on ones work. A rewarding experience.

--
THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (This door is kept locked because of the draught - please use side door.)
:iconaqua-rat:
Reading it again I became more aware of a sense of expectancy, waiting, a hushed, holding of breath in the midst of a humid, watery land.

--
THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (This door is kept locked because of the draught - please use side door.)
:iconlosingmyfaith:
oh, i love different, unique pieces (: i liked it much (:

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" ...he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same, and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."

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June 7
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