my weight settles—
ropes braid my limbs—
a watchful fawn
shadow on the wall—
a sapling's quiver
herons take flight
the rope master's work of art
the six haiku are linked as a renga, each piece related to one another.
i hope you as the reader will enjoy the uniqueness of first hand experience in rope fetish, with my growing 'voice' in the beautiful nature that i use to compare one art form to the other.
06/14/09: submitted the preview photo as my second entry in moyanII's visual poetry contest
06/05/09: added a preview piece showing one of my working poetry journals open to this renga
05/29/09: updated for the peacefulness of it
07/16/08: featured on DailyDeviants
I applaud your talent. You have taken a perverse and misogynistic practice and clothed it in beautiful terms and images, Unfortunately, like Cromwell's warts, the ugliness is still there---but that is the nature of the subject and does not reflect poorly upon your poetry, which is beautiful in and of itself, despite the other.
Your idea was really good.
I also like the fact that from one to another they are connected.
I get a feeling of waiting for something to happen... an intense feeling of anticipation.
like being suspended.
In particular I'm intrigued by the last one. Can't decide how dark the mood is meant to be for it (which is just how I like it).
when this piece was first posted it seemed quite unique to those who came by to read it, being something far from traditional in fact...
happily I've received lovely responses ever since. However, does that mean you like the set as well? (no torture was implied in these pieces, but to each his own they say ^.^ )
And sorry my answer did not convey that I like the set very much. I should think that collaborative renga, with both roles going back and forth, would be a interesting read.
Since I began writing poetry, there are works of mine that reflect when I lived in the "lifestyle" of that fetish, particularly the relation of D/s (dominance-submissive). Once in a while I still enjoy showing the art of this sort of thing.
Question, in 4, by quiver, do you mean shake- and if so, why is 4 sapling a possessive noun?
I dislike 1 and 5's nature image; each seem a separate image from the body of the poem. What do herons have to do with contemplation while being bound? Are they symbolic of something, and why use a symbol of something that doesn't logically relate to the situation? Unless you, like, have herons outside your house.
Not horrible, just a pet peeve of mine, as I strongly dislike romantic flights of fancy in haiku.
On the flipside, 6 is beautiful, with the dual meaning of crescent moon.
this entire renga was an idea I had to meld the mental levels one can reach through the practice of shibari. Not flights of fancy, but actual mental manifestations that can be appreciated only by the one receiving the bondage, and to a secondary degree, the one performing the bondage. I've never seen haiku on the subject the way I have attempted, so the parallels & juxtupositions I draw are more unique. What you call pet peeves should be set aside when it comes to a set such as these six haiku. As for the two you've set aside for closer scrutiny, I'm unable to explain technically, only esthetically - so let's see how I do:
#1: under the spell of being bound, suspended - one's senses become altered. I've heard the sound of rain when the ropes of my suspension adjust to my weight. And if I'm swaying, I seem to hear crickets.
#5: during a session of bondage & suspension - there comes to one a timeless kind of mental flight. In comparison, whenever I've watched herons flying overhead, I'm temporarily unaware of the passing of time. Such peace.
As for #4, I suppose I could've written "a sapling quiver". I still prefer it as "a sapling's quiver".
As for the others, I'm glad to know that you have your favorites among the set - #3, and #6. I thank you again for your detailed comments. It took me a while to answer simply because I was internalizing my own thoughts of where my mindset was at when I wrote the renga, to recall my intentions, so that I might be able to present a competent reply.
Sure there may be layers of meaning only those with the esoteric knowledge can enjoy, but when looking at say Madonna of the Rocks, I'd like to be able to at least think "wow, a beautiful portrait", even if the deeper symbolism is lost on me. For instance, in #2, there's the literal reading of the haiku, then there are additional interpretations as well. Beautiful use of juxtaposition.
And in #4, is "sapling's quiver" a quiver of arrows made of young wood or something else? Again, such an unusual image it's somewhat hard to follow.
But, meh, that's the whole point of personal philosophy: what ever blows your sails. In my case, I'm too much of a simpleton to enjoy a spattering of Pollock.
So I was thrilled to do this renga and I believe the joy and beauty I found comes across in the individual pieces. As for the sapling's quiver - it trembles at the slightest sensations, being slim and young and green. Sounds pretty simple to me.
Thanks again for your exchange with me.