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Tattoo by `jade-pandora:iconjade-pandora:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Erotic > Haiku & Eastern


the sinus drip
of stifling air
and filthy windows,
we sip on humidity

hiding in a
truck stop bathroom
the heat, the sweat-
flies are sucked
down a drain

his skin gives off
the smell
of a tattoo
and I recognize
this puma is no ink blot

just a thimble-full
can burn my eyes
I bare my teeth, to
have him here right now

a cracked mirror
fractures the image
showing the act
multiple times, as
more than one of him

I don't care
at this moment, when
he presses my back
to the floor
and I'm just as wet
©2008-2009 `jade-pandora
:iconjade-pandora:

Author's Comments

This is actually a linked tanka piece (rensaku), that was born of the 2nd tanka in the link which is initially from my April Tanka Collection [link] . It wasn't long before I felt more of the emotion of that piece and fleshed it out into a steamy decadent linked tanka (both 5 & 4-line).

It has much the same feeling for me as my previous long poem, "Choir Practice" [link] .

Comments


love 4 4 joy 1 1 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconkatiewings:
~KatieWings Apr 16, 2008, 8:45:26 AM
Oh, Jade! It is perfect! I really liked the third stanza...so many times have I felt something and wondered if it were real--so that really moved me.

Oh, oh, I am so happy you posted it! Thank you! It's always an adventure, exploring your works....you almost have your own, personal world you write about, with its own special ideals and emotions.

Wonderful!

--
Holy slag, it's a fraggin JET! Get in the car---HOLY PRIMUS!! :noes:
:iconbluewave:
~bluewave Apr 16, 2008, 10:37:32 AM
The lustful want can't be stopped sometimes. This poetry keeps me enthralled and messmerized almost as if I'm watching a scene from a film. :)

--
Life is an adventure in forgiveness.

:bulletblue:
:iconlaurence55:
`Laurence55 Apr 16, 2008, 7:17:07 PM
Very nice Jade, that this rensaku was borne from a single tanka is intriguing. The fifth stanza intrigues me the most. The act of rough love making between two is amplified by the creation of many images in the "cracked mirror," thus intensifying the height of orgasm. Well done!
:iconretrozombie:
Mood: Wow! `RetroZombie Apr 17, 2008, 7:37:50 PM
This is incredibly vivid, Jade. The grittiness of the scene really enhances the erotic. You invoke every sense, and immerse us in your world. "we sip on humidity" completely set up the mood of the piece for me.

...and as usual, my words don't begin to do justice to your work. :blush:

--
玉: 我的天使 ♥
Always look on the bright side... there's more light there and it's easier to find stuff.
:iconjade-pandora:
Mood: Passionate `jade-pandora Apr 20, 2008, 12:49:28 AM
somehow i still shake when i read this piece again, and again...

...thank you for feeling it too.

--
玉
:iconjade-pandora:
Mood: Obsessed `jade-pandora Apr 20, 2008, 12:51:51 AM
Thank you so much, Laurence :smooch: ...

the roughness doubled by the multi-images, the intensity of lust taken up several notches!

--
玉
:iconjade-pandora:
Mood: Passionate `jade-pandora Apr 20, 2008, 12:53:49 AM
good -- as i hoped it would be, and perhaps to be impacted physically as well :hug:

--
玉
:iconjade-pandora:
Mood: Love `jade-pandora Apr 20, 2008, 12:55:55 AM
oh Katie dear, i'm so glad i did too... just your reactions alone made it worthwhile!

Special ideals & emotions... mmmm... yes, i write what is my world, and those who follow are also able to join me. :smooch:

--
玉
:iconpatches363:
~Patches363 Apr 20, 2008, 9:13:00 AM
raw, and very nice.

--
May the fire from my pen scorch the skin of hades.
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