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Submitted on
March 14, 2009
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An image flashes and shows me
sitting quietly
waiting for the signal
to continue on my way

but I never make it.
From behind
a vehicle fast approaching
unseen and unheard

until it's upon me
and ends my journey,
all of my journeys
in the blink of an eye

a dazzling hail of glass
in colors of the street lights,
a violent whiplash of my hair
flowing through water

the windshield
a wide-angle view one second,
a pane of white mesh the next
wrapped around my body

and every poem,
every love letter,
get-well card and shopping list
I would ever write

spills out of me
till it's all floating
in the oil-slick puddles
on the road and the pavement

my mind already sluggish
as I sat, placidly content
after a large dinner
an hour before

giving my car the reins
knowing the way home
and so happy that moment,
I didn't realize how much

now that night had come,
surrounded by a galaxy of
city lights like so many stars.
And all I remember feeling
was the love-

             only love-

                       only

                           love.
:bulletred: 11/28/11: Featured here [link]
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2011   Writer
I liked the part about every poem flowing out of the victim. It reiterates that what we write comes from our very inner beings, even if it is something as simple as a shopping list.
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011
Thank you so much for giving me your thoughts on my piece, I always appreciate you coming by. <3
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011   Writer
It was nice to give thoughts - I rarely do it now except in a formal crit because I tend to get too 'critty' in my comments and not many people like that.
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:iconholyolyoly:
holyolyoly Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
As has been mentioned.. stanza 6 and 7 are quite ingenious. :)
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
:aww: Thank you so much.
Reply
:iconpursuingthecerberus:
PursuingTheCerberus Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Professional Writer
to make death so poetic and beautiful while maintaining the drama and grief is such an accomplishment displayed perfectly here:

"a dazzling hail of glass
in colors of the street lights,
a violent whiplash of my hair
flowing through water"

WOW.

"and every poem,
every love letter,
get-well card and shopping list
I would ever write

spills out of me
till it's all floating
in the oil-slick puddles
on the road and the pavement"

^WOW. Seriously...this is gut-wrenching and emotional. The kind of thing that really gives one chills and nearly evokes tears. The death of a person is so much more than the loss of their presence here on the planet, but the impact they would've had on the world, on other people. This is perfectly portrayed here in this stanza!!! WOW!

After completing the reading of this piece the title which seemed a bit drab after the earlier stanzas, really hits home. And isn't it the truth...death grabs you at the most unexpected moments...someone feeling sluggish after a big meal, driving a way they've driven a million times before...ended by anothers negligence.

FANTASTIC JOB!!!!
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011
William...

William William William...

you make me feel like I've written something brilliant, when in fact, I'm simply grateful you gave my poem another chance in spite the unimpressive title (which it is at first glance, true).

How can I thank you any other way for having taken time to give me your insightful thoughts? I don't think I can do the effort justice.

Thank you...
Reply
:iconpursuingthecerberus:
PursuingTheCerberus Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2011  Professional Writer
You know...I had a pretty crumby day today and to log on and find your comment really brightened it.

Your title isn't unimpressive, please don't misunderstand my comment. I'm one of these poets that labors greatly over the titles of things. I'm obsessed with words and in a title I need to see visual appeal, intrigue and curiosity as well as a deeper meaning to the poem....but I don't expect everyone to think that way. Sometimes simple is better! Sometimes analyzing something too much is unnecessary...your title is powerful once you've read the poem!

"How can I thank you any other way for having taken time to give me your insightful thoughts? I don't think I can do the effort justice."

You can thank me by continuing to be wonderful and talking to me on here. You have done my effort justice just by being you so, thank you. I can sense the sincerity in your comment and it means the world to me.
Reply
:iconwei-en:
wei-en Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2011
Lovely, yet so very sad...I really like this.
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2011
aw thank you so much, Alex, I'm glad. And welcome to dA! <3
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