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while segmenting an orange
as I absent mindedly walk the garden

a waxing crescent moon ascends
for the third day in a row

racing the juice
that runs up my arms

my mind unchanging in spite of
the day's unrelenting heat

that has turned into night
and too warm to wear it down

faint light hooks the ends of
my hair at that moment

and how lovely the scent of rind
won't wash off of me for days
It started as a haiku of thoughtful sensation & observation, and wound up becoming a bit more, yet still simple.

7/21/11: I took out what punctuation there was - I realized it doesn't need it. I love paring it down to the bone the way it works best when writing Japanese short form which this piece is based on.
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:iconpereyga:
Pereyga Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
i like =D
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011
:iconbowplz: Thank you
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:iconpereyga:
Pereyga Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
welcome ^^ this smiley is very cute
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:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Simple is good, a pleasent pause in my day.
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2011
:blowkiss:
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:iconphoneix-faerie:
Phoneix-Faerie Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
really amazing, so good at conveying the emotions
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2011
:love:
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:iconriparii:
riparii Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2011
this is a perfect counterpart to the current summer heat wave.
A little mental refresher.
I agree the lack of punctuation streamlines it and further enhances
its graceful simplicity.
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2011
Thank you, dear heart, for the lovely thoughts - that's exactly how I felt when I wrote it: as a mental refresher. <3
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:iconsomnomollior:
somnomollior Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011   Writer
This is lovely in the ways that simple joys always are.
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2011
I so much agree with how you said that - about simple joys. It makes me smile the way this little poem moved you to fave it. ^.^
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:iconsomnomollior:
somnomollior Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2011   Writer
:) :hug:
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:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2011   Writer
lovely in-the-moment simplicity which reflects the depth to which we can barely speak.
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2011
That's why it's so nice to be able to put it into the written word - which allows me to express in ways my own spoken words never seem to equal. <3
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:iconpixieplay:
pixieplay Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2011
This is a lovely celebration of the senses, Jade. Absolutely wonderful! :hug: :heart:
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2011
:hug: Ah thank you so very much, sweet one - and my apologies for you not hearing much from me lately. It must become tiresome when you hear that repeated, and of how much I miss you. But meantime, poems like this can still speak to you. :heart:
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:iconpixieplay:
pixieplay Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2011
You're very welcome! Don't worry about it; I know that there is a lot you have to deal with on a daily basis. Just take good care of yourself, mkay? :hug: :heart: And yes, in the meantime, I have these wonderful poems of yours, through which you speak to me. :aww:
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:iconrequiemsandreveries:
RequiemsandReveries Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2011
"faint light hooks the ends of
my hair at that moment,

and how lovely, the scent of rind
won't wash off of me for days"
gorgeous
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2011
Thank you for coming by to enjoy this piece - I'm so glad of your appreciation. ^.^
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:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
A lovely, gentle poem. The simplicity of it is just wonderful.

My friends say I always smell of rind, since I'm always eating clementines. :giggle:
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011
Thank you so much, dear heart. Mmmm I love clementines - such a pureness of scent from nature's own. <3
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:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I agree!

You're welcome. :heart:
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:iconirvon:
irvon Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011
It reminds of a Dutch poem I wrote once, the translated title of which reads "Memoirs of an orange". I love how the orange and the moon mingle in this poem. It's as though the colours run together.
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2011
Thank you so much! -- I think you feel this piece perfectly from the description of your reading. <3
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:iconrawpoetry:
RawPoetry Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011   Photographer
very nice piece, i love the feel of simplicity to it. And I love the smell of orange rinds. :)
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2011
:heart: Thank you so very much -- I loved how the poem came to me with such simplicity, and I too love the scent. Apparently my piece reminded many others how much they do, too.
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:iconpoetshand:
PoetsHand Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011
I thought I was the only one to notice the scent of rind...I'm glad I'm not! This is great!
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011
awww thank you so much! ^.^
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:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011
"and how lovely, the scent of rind
won't wash off of me for days"
I love this, very gentle and observant. :heart:
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011
oh thank you so much, dear :heart:
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:iconsoul-reader:
Soul-Reader Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011   Writer
This is interesting :nod:
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
Hi Maddy, gosh I'm glad you think so. I mean, "interesting" can be a good thing, too. ^.^
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:iconsoul-reader:
Soul-Reader Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011   Writer
Yes - I meant it in a good way =P Its unique to anything else I've read on here recently :)
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011
:love: gosh thank you - that means a lot.
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:iconsoul-reader:
Soul-Reader Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011   Writer
You're welcome :)
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:iconretrozombie:
RetroZombie Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
Gosh, Jadey, this is so captivating and palpable. I feel like I'm there with you, in the waning heat, watching our moon and reveling in the scents of oranges, and you.

:heart:
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
aw thank you so much, John --

I love the scent of citrus, and in the heat it's sticky-sweet on my skin. :love:

Thank you for the fav' as well!
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:icontallcanxd:
TallCanXD Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
Life.
I love the little moments.
:D
Great work, friend!
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
Why thank you so much, Josh - so do I. And thanks too for fav'ing this little moment. :hug:
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:icontallcanxd:
TallCanXD Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
My name is John-Moshe.
lol You are welcome!
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
I'm so sorry - I'm on meds and somehow your duel name combined in my mind as Josh (John-Mosh). Not an excuse, just my way of trying to figure out what happened. :ashamed:
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:icontallcanxd:
TallCanXD Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
no harm done.
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:iconmahi-fish:
Mahi-Fish Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
This piece has quite a few lovely moments in it.

First, I love the contrasting but complementary images of the orange and the crescent moon.

Second, I really enjoyed the way you chose to end it. It looked at first as though the poem was heading to talk about "serious stuff with gravity", but then in an unexpected twist you took it up a much simpler and brighter path. Bravo for orange rinds!
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
Thanks so much, MF, for your always insightful comments, often times tinged with a bit of your wit.

I'm glad you like it, and that you fav'd it, and also...

huzzah for oranges!
:iconorangeplz::pointl:my navel ....orange!
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